How to Be A Good Feminist
by ButterflyRae
Summary: “So his basic idea is that we don’t date inside our families so that we can barter woman to get what we want, right?” he asked, reclining on his bed and smirking. “Sort of like the time I tried to hook you up with Sammy to get that trip to Sweden?” Dasey.
1. Knock

**How to Be A Good Feminist**

Author's Note: First, I sure as hell don't own LWD. If I did, some of those spoilers we've been hearing lately would be completely false. Second, this story is based on how we now think the series is going to end. Although I have ideas for the next couple chapters, beyond that, I have absolutely no idea how this story is going to go. Fear not though--in my book (or rather in my fanfiction), all roads lead to Dasey.

**Chapter 1: Knock**

Mara Thomas had just slipped on her bathrobe and was getting her shower caddy when the door to her dorm room flew open and a teenage boy casually strolled in.

"What the hell!" Mara screamed, pulling her bathrobe closed around her. "What are you doing in our room?!"

"Derek, how many times have I told you to knock!" yelled Mara's roommate, her face turning red. "Mara, this is my step-brother Derek."

"Nice to meet you," said the boy looking embarrassed.

"Look even if you're Casey's family," said Mara huffily, "it doesn't mean that you can just barge into our room. If you had walked in a second earlier, my boyfriend would have had to pound you."

"Sorry about that," he said, looking at his feet.

"It's okay," said Mara, "Just don't do it again. Casey, I'll be in the shower. Feel free to go eat with out me."

"Okay," Casey called as Mara left the room. "Jesus, Derek, try to have a little consideration!"

"I didn't mean to upset her!" he said. "I'm just not used to you rooming with someone."

"Yeah, because it would have been perfectly fine if you had walked in on _me _naked!_" _she said, sarcastically.

"Well, you're the one who said that I was just like your brother," he shrugged, sitting down on her bed. "Besides, who showers at 5 pm?"

"What are you doing here, anyways, Derek?" Casey said, sitting down at her computer desk.

"Somehow this got mixed up in one of my boxes," he said, pulling a small picture of Casey's father out of his jacket. "I thought you'd probably want it."

"Oh," she said, "thanks."

"So, is this your class schedule?" he said, looking over a piece of paper on the bed next to him.

"Yeah," she said, snatching it back from him and turning back towards her computer. "I was just entering it in my online day planner."

"Fun," he said, putting his feet up and reclining her headboard. "You decided to register for feminist philosophy after all, huh?"

"Yeah," she said typing.

"Looks like you'll be taking notes for both of us then."

"Yeah, you wish," she scoffed.

"Okay, how about just when I have an away game?'

"Here," she said, tossing a printed syllabus at him. "Highlight the days you'll be gone for me."

"Case, not everyone walks around with a day planner," he said.

"Then take it home with you and do it," she said, opening up her e-mail.

"Whatever."

"You know, I'm really glad that you're taking this," she said. "Despite your motives, perhaps it will teach you to have a little more respect for women."

"I'm hungry," he said randomly. "Do you have any food?"

"You know I don't," she said. "You were there when I packed."

"Wanna grab something to eat then?"

"You want to eat with me?" she said, looking at him in surprise.

"Yeah, well, it's not like I know that many other people here yet, and we've got to eat, right?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "Let's go."


	2. Respect Your Ex

**Author's Note: **

So this chapter heavily alludes to some major spoilers about the second to the last episode (if you don't know what I'm talking about then see the Derek/Casey Accidentally In Love livejournal or Dasey Nation--Do a google search, this website won't let me post links).

If you don't want to be spoiled about it, then do not read on.

As we get into the Dasey goodness of this story, I wanted to deal with this. Much like Derek's guy code, there is also a code between girls and that is another hurdle that Casey is going to have to overcome. In fact, I may return to this issue again later in the story . . .

* * *

**Chapter 2: Respect Your Ex**

It was a Monday and she had insisted that he meet her 15 minutes before class so that she could review the notes she had taken during his first away game. Apparently she didn't trust his ability to comprehend them and insisted that it was important that he get something out of this course.

"So the idea is that one is not born but rather becomes a woman," explained Casey, reviewing her notes.

"Yeah, that's probably more true of some than others," he smirked.

"Derek did you even read that passage from the Second Sex?!" she asked annoyed. "Simone de Beauvoir is fascinating writer."

"And surprisingly hot," he said, handing her a printed picture of a woman in the bathroom clad only in high heels.

"What is this Derek?!" she said, looking at the picture. "What does this have to do with the Second Sex?"

"It's only a picture of the author," he smirked.

"Leave it to you to look up dirty pictures of famous feminist philosophers!" she said, exasperated.

"Actually, Ms. McDonald," said the prof, who was setting up that days power point, "the picture that Mr. Venturi here found was taken by a relatively well-known American photographer and was recently featured on the cover of a magazine in honor of de Beauvoir's hundreth birthday."

"Really?!" Casey asked, ignoring Derek's self-satisfied smirk.

"It was taken with her knowledge when she was using a friends shower. Arguably, it can be seen as a statement about her sexual openness and views on female sexuality."

"See, Case, if you were a better feminist you'd be more open to things like this," he smirked. "Sounds to me like you need to embrace your own sexual energy and quit worrying that people will walk in on you if they come in without knocking."

"Your boyfriend certainly has a unique take on feminism, Ms. McDonald."

"He's my step-brother," Casey said.

"Oh," said professor, "I'm sorry."

"Yeah me too," said Casey.

"Really?" Derek asked, giving her an amused look.

"I'm mean that I know you at all," she said nervously, realizing how her statement might have come across. "Not that you're not my boyfriend. Anyway, did you read the passage?!"

"Yeah, of course. The Other, Oppression, Blah, Blah, Blah."

"We'll continue our discussion of this at lunch," she said, exasperated.

"If you insist," he smirked.

* * *

"Hey," he said to her after class was over. "Maybe we could go over the rest of your notes later? I think that asking Trisha to lunch might provide me with some valuable insights about the power of female sexuality."

Casey just threw him a withering glare.

"Or not," he said. "Let's just go get food."

"Actually, Derek, there's something that I've been meaning to talk to you about."

"Hmm," he said, yawning and slinging his arm over her shoulder.

"Emily asked about you again last night, and I didn't know what to tell her. I certainly didn't want to tell her about all the random women that you've been dating."

"Look, Case," he said, angrily pulling away from her, "what you talk to Emily about is your business. Stop trying to involve me in it."

"Stop trying to involve you in it?!" she said. "Derek, you are involved in it! Can't you be a little more sensitive to her feelings!"

"Casey, I'm trying to be sensitive! Why do you think I told her I didn't think it was a good idea if talked or IM'd this term?!"

"Um, because you're a selfish player who doesn't want to waste time on her?" Casey asked.

"Believe it or not, I actually cared about Emily!" he said, angrily. "But that doesn't mean that I'm going to string her a long and give her hope for some sort of future for us when there isn't any."

"What?!" Casey said.

"Continuing to think about us is just going to hurt her," he sighed. "I want her to enjoy her college experience and get the most out of it."

"And I suppose it has nothing to do with wanting to enjoy yours?" Casey said suspiciously.

"Of course it does!" he said, frankly. "I know it hasn't always worked out this way for you but I've grown because of my relationships and finding what I want here now that I'm in college is probably going to do me good. Emily and I both deserve that opportunity."

"But didn't you ever think that the two of you could get together again at some point?" she said in a small voice. "We do live next door to her at home."

"Probably not," he said, honestly. "And definitely not while we're in college. Like I said, I don't think a long distance thing would be fair to either of us."

"Well," she conceded, "I guess that's fair enough."

"Yeah," he said.

There was a silence between them as both seemed to think it over.

"Case?" he asked. "Do you really think I'm hurting her?"

"No," she said softly. "In fact, I'm probably making a bigger deal of the whole thing than she is. She just asked about you in passing on IM last night."

"Good," he said, putting his arm back over her shoulder.

* * *

**Author's Note 2: **

In case any of you were wondering, the picture that I mentioned is real. It was taken by American photographer Art Shay while de Beauvoir was dating his friend Nelson Algren (an American writer). Apparently, it was the depression and Algren only had access to a communal shower which he shared with the other men in his apartment building. He suggested that de Beauvoir go shower at Shay's place, and while she was, she let him snap that photo of her. It caused a bit of controversy when it was published on a magazine cover in early 2008. I actually saw a copy of it in an art gallery.


	3. Understand the Fundamentals

**Author's Note:** I hope this chapter doesn't come off as too cliché.

* * *

**Chapter 3: Understand the Fundamentals**

"So does that make sense?" she asked.

"I guess," he said, still looking, in Casey's opinion, a bit confused.

It was Sunday and Derek had just returned from another away game. She was in his room trying to explain the feminist critique of Claude Levi-Strauss' theory of exogamy, kinship structure, and the incest taboo. The trouble was that she wasn't entirely sure that she fully grasped it herself.

"So his basic idea is that we don't date inside our families so that we can barter woman to get what we want, right?" he asked, reclining on his bed and smirking. "Sort of like the time I tried to hook you up with Sammy to get that trip to Sweden?"

"Yeah, sort of," she conceded, rolling her eyes. "But if I'm reading it right, there might be more to it than that."

"How so?"

"Well, I think that it's saying that the social convention of using woman like this affects the nature of desire itself," she said.

"Huh?" he said, looking puzzled.

"For example," she said, "it would mean that because of the way that woman are used in society, you would not only want to use me to go to Sweden but would also have no _desire_ to date me yourself."

"Well, that's just stupid," he said. "Why would the fact that I could trade you for the use of Matt Kerry's Guitar Hero effect the way that I feel about you myself?"

"Is that why you wanted to set me up with that kid?!" she said angrily.

"Duh," he said, ignoring her anger. "In fact, if we're talking purely desire here, I don't think that we can even accept the premise that people don't want to date inside their families."

"What?" she said incredulously.

"I mean, I haven't dated you because people wouldn't exactly throw a parade for us," he said. "Not because I have no desire to."

"Excuse me?!" she said, clearly stunned.

"I'm just saying that the theory doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense."

"Derek, did you just say that you want to be with me?" she asked, reeling.

"Chillax, Case," he said. "I'm just making a point here."

"Derek, you can't just through it out there that you've thought about me like that!" she shouted. "In another few months my mother is going to have a baby with your father!"

"I kind of thought that's why we were talking about this in the context of the incest taboo," he smirked. "We're just having an intellectual conversation here."

"Yeah," she said, gripping on to that and trying to calm herself. "I guess your right. It's just an intellectual conversation."

"Exactly," he said.

"And all your saying is that, from your own experience, you tend to agree more with the passage we read in the Second Sex."

"Huh?" he said.

"This," she said, flipping through her book and turning to a passage that she had highlighted and reading out loud.

"Incest, for example, is forbidden because the father has forbidden it – but why did he forbid it? It is a mystery. The super-ego interiorises, introjects commands and prohibitions emanating from an arbitrary tyranny, and the instinctive drives are there, we know not why: these two realities are unrelated because morality is envisaged as foreign to sexuality."

"You had that one highlighted, huh?" he smirked, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"Derek, I've highlighted the whole book!" she said, pushing him away from her angrily.

"Come on, Case," he said, "we're speaking frankly here. If they weren't married . . . ?"

"Yeah," she said, "but they are. So I don't think we should talk about this anymore."

"Have it your way," he smirked. "I was just trying to make a point here."

"Yeah well, I think that's enough intellectual conversation for one night," she said getting up to leave.

"Casey," he said, gripping her arm and pulling her back toward him. "We don't always have to talk."

"W-What do you mean?" she said nervously. Derek was throwing her that evil smirk again.

"Well," he whispered, leaning into her, "we could always . . . watch a movie."

"Oh," she smiled, visibly relaxing, "sounds like fun."

* * *

**Author's Note 2: **

Yes, Derek was a bit of a tease here and so was I. My goal with this chapter was really just for Derek to throw the idea out there--not to resolve anything at this point.

Also, regarding the accuracy of my portrayal of Levi-Strauss' Alliance theory—the basic idea of exogamy and using women as bargaining chips to facilitate social relations between clans is correct. However, Casey's interpretation of the theory beyond that may be flawed. I've actually only read about Levi-Strauss in passing, but I thought it was an interesting jumping off point for discussion.


	4. Know When to Stop

**Author's Note:** I know that this chapter starts out kind of slow, but hopefully you'll like where it goes.

* * *

**Chapter 4: Know When to Stop**

It was Saturday night and they were at the all-night breakfast restaurant just outside of town. Basically, it was a bribe. Derek had agreed to let her drag him to hear a visiting speaking that their professor had recommended but only if she treated him to pancakes afterwards. And only if she didn't force him to talk about the lecture all night.

Derek had been telling her about his obsessively neat roommate and she couldn't help laughing at some of things he was describing. Living with the guy seemed to make Derek pretty miserable.

"I don't know, Der," she teased, taking another bite from her fruit bowl. "He actually sounds pretty great to me. Maybe you could set us up sometime?"

"Yeah, in his dreams," Derek scoffed, causing Casey to raise her eyebrows.

"I'm mean, no woman in her right mind would date this guy," he said, eating a forkful of his chocolate chip pancakes. "It's like he's got a one track mind."

"And you don't?" she said.

"Case, you know Brian, my friend who lives next door?"

"Yeah," she said. "What about him?"

"Well, the other day his high school girlfriend came to stay with him and I'm no prude but—"

"Ha, that's the understatement of the year," she scoffed.

"Like I was saying," he continued. "I'm no prude but some of the noises coming out of his room that night were really weird."

"And this has to do with Jack, how?" she asked.

"Well, Jack and I could hear them as we were going to bed so I motion toward Brian's wall and comment 'Pretty dirty, huh?'"

"Sounds like it if it was enough to get _your_ attention."

"And for once Jack agrees with me. In fact, he gets this distressed look on his face and I tell him to just ignore it and try to get some sleep. I mean, the guys been kind of sheltered so I figured that the sex thing was upsetting him."

"And wasn't it?" she asked.

"Well," Derek continued, "the next day I come back from class and the guys got a sponge and a bucket of soapy water."

"Huh?"

"Casey, he was washing the wall, and when I asked him about it he just thanked me for pointing out dirty it had gotten."

"Yeah, probably not my type after all," she smiled.

"Hope not," he said, obliviously scarfing down more of his pancakes as she looked at him incredulously.

Casey sighed and forked another piece of cantalope.

"So what's with the fruit?" he asked her. "Didn't you want pancakes?"

"Sort of," she said. "But I haven't been dancing since we came to school and I didn't think that the extra carbs were a good idea."

"Case, you've got be kidding me," he said, surprised.

"What?" she said.

"Well, first of all," he smirked, "isn't worrying about your outward appearance a little superficial for you?"

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to take care of yourself!" she said indignantly.

"And second," he said ignoring her irritation, "I've seen a lot of women's bodies and believe me yours is . . . well . . . you know what I mean."

The look he was giving her sent shivers up her spine. All she could do was avert her eyes and stare at his pancakes.

"You want some, don't you?" he said.

"Excuse me?"

"What girl can resist the delicious goodness of chocolate chip pancakes," he smirked.

"They do look delicious," she said miserably.

"Do you want a bite?" he offered.

"Maybe just one," she said.

"Here," he said, feeding her a forkful across the table.

"Ummm," she murmured, closing her eyes in pleasure as she wrapped her lips around his fork.

"Have as much as you like," he said.

"Thanks, but one bite is enough," she said.

As he was saying goodbye to her at her door, she gave him an amused look. In fact, she had been giving him that look ever since they left the restaurant.

"What?" he said.

"You still have chocolate all over your face," she laughed.

Derek licked his lips in annoyance.

"Gone?" he asked.

"Not quite," she said, gently wiping a bit from his check.

"Thanks," he said looking down.

"Don't mention it," she said softly.

And Derek headed down the hall.

"Derek!" she called after him, a slight smile on her lips. "The exit is the other way."

"I know," he said. "But I have a date with Jane Collins tonight."

"What?!" she said, clearly shocked. "It's 11:30 at night."

"Yeah," he smirked, "but fortunately Jane shares my ideas about a woman's freedom to express her sexual desires in the absence of socially sanctioned pre-mating scripts."

"In other words," said Casey, angrily, "no need for you to take her out ahead of time?"

"Yup," he said.

"Good night, Derek," she fumed.

"Night, Casey," he said, looking at her intently as she slammed the door behind her.

He knocked on a door three doors down from Casey's and a blond girl answered it. Before she could even say anything, he had shoved her and against the wall and taken her lips in a passionate kiss.

Jane responded exactly as he had hoped. Before he knew it, her bra was off and he had her moaning in pleasure. But Derek's eyes were glazed over. At some point he started moving through the motions of it as if in a daze. The next thing he knew, Jane's hands were on his belt buckle, working it open.

"Wait," he said, putting his hand over hers. "We can't do this."

"Don't you want this?" she said, finally speaking. And moment that he heard her voice he knew his answer.

"Yes," he said, a pained expression coming over his face. "Just not with you. This isn't fair to either of us."

"Oh," she said, looking in the direction of Casey's room and then giving him a pitying look. "I think I get it now."

And Derek felt miserable as he left that night. Because all that he had been able to think about as he had touched her was the way that his stepsister had looked eating chocolate chip pancakes.

* * *

**Random Note:** In my mind, Derek and Casey were at Perkins. I think they have those in Canada, no?


	5. Don’t Take the Easy Way Out

**Author's Note:** Okay, so that "Story Traffic" thingamabob? Awesome! This chapter is dedicated to my readers in Croatia and the island of Reunion. It's actually not my favorite chapter, but stay tuned because big things are to come in the next chapter. And of course, read & review.

* * *

**Chapter 5: Don't Take the Easy Way Out**

Casey McDonald was sitting with her roommate in the campus dining hall. It was almost finals week and worry and doubt was evident on her face.

"Casey, you should try to relax," said Mara, "you're going to do absolutely fine."

"Yeah," she said, trying to smile. "I know."

At that moment Derek walked in on the arm of Kimberly Connor. She was the fifth girl from their philosophy class that he'd dated in the last four weeks. The whole thing was sick. Derek would feed them these lines about the patriarchy and the societies double standard about casual relationships among men and women, basically encouraging them to go out with him with no strings attached. Apparently he really sounded like he knew his stuff because the girls were lapping it up and none of them seemed to resent him when he moved onto the next one. Weirdly, the look that she sometimes would catch a couple of them giving him seemed almost compassionate . . .

Casey sighed and told Mara she was getting some desert. She was looking over the day's selection when she felt his hand on her arm.

"Hey, Space Case, you're going to help me study for the final this weekend, right?" he said.

"Are you sure that you don't want to ask Trisha or Jane or Kim?" she snarked.

"Hey, they all made the choice to go out with me," he smirked. "Show a little respect for their agency."

"You really haven't learned anything important from this, have you?" she said, exasperated.

"And that's why your going to help me study this weekend, right?" he said, looking hopeful.

"Yeah, of course," she said in defeat. "Why don't you stop by after dinner tonight."

"Will do," he said.

* * *

They were both sitting on her bed pouring over pages and pages of her notes.

"So like Professor Richardson said," explained Casey, "the basic gist of The Feminine Mystique was that housewives at the time had fallen into the trap of believing that they had to define themselves in relation to their husbands and children. They were brainwashed by a system set up by men."

"Hmm," he said, looking skeptical.

"What?" she said. "Don't you agree?"

"I don't know, Case," he said. "Don't you think that reading is a little simplistic?"

"Excuse me, Derek?" she said, looking shocked that he had questioned their professor.

"Well," he said, "it also talked about some women being cowards, right?"

"Huh?" she said, a little bit indignantly. "Where did you get that from?"

"Well, the author sort of talks about the terror of choice . . . You know—the scariness of having to figure out who you are and what you want."

"Yeah," said Casey, "I do kind of remember that . . ."

"Well, wasn't she also saying that a lot of woman run away from that scariness and take the easy way out by throwing themselves into this system where they basically let others decide for them?"

"Yeah," she said, clearly stunned. "Even though we didn't really talk about it in class, I think that you're right about that."

"Yeah, well," he smirked at her, taping her temple lightly with his finger. "I don't just go by what we talk about in class."

Then he shocked her by gently running his fingers through her hair . . . Her stomach jumped and she averted her eyes.

"Der-ek!" she said, after taking few seconds to recover, and shoved him away from her.

And as Derek laughed at her delayed reaction, she directed her attention back toward her notes.

Every so often she would look up at him, with a questioning look.

"What?" he asked. "Are you worried about the test?"

"No," she said. "Not really."

"Is it . . . well . . . with your hair just now?"

"No, of course not," she said annoyed. "I know that you were only teasing me."

"Oh," he frowned, pausing for a few seconds. "I hate to ask this, then, but what's wrong with you today?"

"It's not important," she said, looking at him anxiously.

"Case, you know I'm not the type of guy to try to drag it out of you," he said, "so if you say it's not important, we'll leave it at that."

"It's just . . . well . . . when this class ends, are you . . . are you . . ."

"Am I what?" he asked.

"Are you going to come see me anymore?"

"What?" he asked, surprised.

"I know!" she said, becoming hysterical. "It's stupid, right?!"

Derek just gave her a stunned look.

"You're still a chauvinistic womanizing jerk so it's pretty stupid that I actually like hanging out with you."

"Case, you can't be serious," he laughed. "How oblivious can you be? I mean, I just—"

"I know," she interrupted him. "It was stupid to think that you might feel the same way about me and that—"

"Casey," he said cutting her off, "I'm getting an A- in this class."

"What?!" she said incredulously.

"You don't have to sound so surprised," he said, angrily. "I'm getting an A- and even if I didn't take this test at all I would still pass. And yet, here I am wasting my Friday night studying."

"Well, no is holding a gun to your head!" she shouted.

"Casey that was kind of my point!" he shouted back.

"I don't need to be here," he said, looking at her intently, "but I am."

"Oh," she said softly.

And for a second everything went silent and the two of them just stared at each other.

"You know, we don't have to do this," she said finally.

"What part of the fact that I want to be here with you don't you understand?" he asked.

"No," she said, "I mean . . . we don't have to do _this_."

"Huh?" he said.

"Well, there's a band playing at the student union tonight and . . ."

"What?" he said, in mock surprise. "Does Casey McDonald really want blow off studying during the weekend before finals? Aren't good little girls supposed to stay in and review their notes all night?"

"Do you want to go with me or not?!" she asked angrily.

"Yeah, Case," he smiled. "I do.

* * *

**Author's (Educational) Note:** Both Derek and Casey are correct in their interpretations of Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique. Friedan does talk about the system of women staying in the home being set up by social and cultural forces at work at the time (she wrote the book in the early 1960's, in the post WWII era). However, as Derek notes, she also talks about women buying into that system / a society that infantilizes them so that they do not have to face some of the tougher existential questions. Also, if any of you watch the series _Mad Men_, I'm convinced that the name of Don Draper's wife (Betty) is an homage to Betty Friedan since her character was essentially ripped from the pages of The Feminine Mystique.

* * *


	6. Acknowledge Your Actions

**Author's Note:** There was actually going to be more to this chapter, but I decided to split it into two. Hope it still works. Read & review.

* * *

**Chapter 6: Acknowledge Your Actions**

Finals week had gone better than anticipated and it was probably because of him. As much as he drove her crazy, he also knew how to keep her sane. Some of the time they had studied, but most of the time they had just hung out. They would eat together, watch movies, and go for walks around campus. At the end of the evening he would always go off to be with the latest in his parade of bimbos and she would do more studying before bed, knowing that she would see him the next day. And they both did well on their tests (despite that fact that he had studied decidedly less than her).

The plane ride home was fine. Well, a little turbulent at first. She'd had gripped his hand in fear when they hit an air pocket but he had just smiled at her and it was fine again. The rest of the flight had been pretty smooth, but she hadn't bothered to extricate her hand . . . However, from the moment they stepped off the aircraft and got to baggage claim, everything went down hill.

There was her mother, standing there with her swollen belly smiling at them. And although Casey was glad to see her, for some reason she felt her own stomach drop.

"Mom," she said. "You look very . . . pregnant."

"You look beautiful, Nora," Derek said warmly, elbowing Casey gently before going to give her mother a hug.

It should have been the other way around but, for some reason, Casey felt like she was in a daze.

The entire car ride home was like that. Her mother would ask her questions about school and she would reply in one or two word answers. Derek, on the other hand, was also attempting to make conversation, asking her mother about the baby and the family.

He kept shooting her this disappointed looked as if she were doing something wrong. It kind of made her . . . angry.

But things really got bad when they got back home.

"So guys, we have something to tell you," said her mother. "You know that the house is not that big and George and I felt like we had to have a room near the baby's."

Casey's stomach sank again as she realized what was coming. Derek, apparently, was less perceptive.

"Yeah?" he said, looking puzzled.

"Well, Derek," said Nora, "we decided to make your room into a nursery and George and I have taken Casey's."

"What?!" said Derek. "You can't be serious?!"

"We thought that Casey could take the basement," Nora said nervously, "and that you could room with Edwin in the attic."

"Or I could take the basement and Space Case could move in with Lizzie!" Derek said, looking upset.

Why was it that _this_ was the part of the whole pregnancy situation that was upsetting him? He hadn't changed at all. And suddenly Casey felt like she was 15 again and that Derek was again her totally unwanted new brother who was trying to take everything from her.

"I'm not sharing a room with Lizzie, Derek!" she shouted. "The basement is mine!"

"Chillax, princess!" he shouted back. "Don't get your panties in a bunch."

"I'm taking the basement and that's final!" she shouted storming off. "Oh, and way to be a gentlemen, Derek!"

"What happened to equal treatment for women!" he shouted after her, snarkily.

She was sitting there fuming, unpacking her stuff when she got another surprise. Emily walked in. She didn't know why that was a surprise given that Emily lived next door and it was the winter holidays, but it caught her off guard.

"Um, hi Em," she said, trying to sound cheerful and giving her friend a hug.

"Hi Case!" Emily squeed, excitedly. "It's great to see you again! I have so much to tell you."

Just then Derek barged in as well, gave Casey a glare, and threw a pair of her shoes at her head.

"You packed these in my suitcase," he said turning to leave. She hadn't had room for them in hers so he had let her put them with his stuff.

"Derek!" said Emily. "I'm so glad to see you!"

And Derek got this pained look on his face and met Casey's eyes in a way that somehow made her even more angry at him.

"Don't worry," Emily laughed. "I've actually got a new boyfriend now."

"Since when, Em!" said Casey. "You never told me about that."

"Well," said Emily, blushing, "it just sort of happened recently and I wanted to tell you both about it in person . . . You see, he's sort of someone that we used to go to school with."

"Em, you're not back together with Sheldon, are you?" Casey asked.

"No," Emily said, blushing, "it's, well, Tinker."

She looked like she was waiting for someone to yell at her but when nobody said anything she continued.

"We ended up at the same university. I hope that's okay with you, Casey."

"Of course!" Casey laughed. "You know that there was never anything between us and I'm pretty sure that he stopped liking me at some point during junior year."

"Em, I'm really happy for you," said Derek. "You have my total blessing."

"Really, Derek?" Emily said happily. "I'm glad to hear that you're okay with it."

The whole interchange between them only fueled Casey's anger toward him. Could he be any more of a condescending jerk?

"So are either of you dating anyone?" asked Emily.

"Well, Casey here is continuing her celibacy streak," Derek teased. "Pretty soon she'll be eligible to take orders at the local convent."

Apparently, he could be a bigger jerk. Maybe it was the way he acted on the way home from the airport. Or maybe it was the way he reacted to the room situation. Or the shoes he threw at her head. Or the way he talked to Emily. Or just maybe it was that smile that he gave her as they held hands on the plane. But in any case, Casey's blood had started to boil and she lashed out at him.

"Yeah, well, at least I don't spend every waking minute with my sister and then run off to fool around with random strangers the second I begin to feel horny!"

Then it was like everything was moving in slow motion. Emily looked . . . shocked. Derek closed his eyes slowly, put his hand over half his face, and got this expression as if the shit had finally hit the fan. And for Casey, the pieces finally snapped into place and she realized the implications of what she had just said.

* * *

**Author's Note: **If it's not obvious what Casey realized (which I hope it is!), things will be clarified in the next chapter. Also, a couple of you expressed curiosity about what would happen at the student union. Although I didn't describe it, you can assume that it was just like a date but Casey some how pulled back before Derek could kiss her. To some extent, Casey's behavior thus far reflects both denseness and denial. I'm also going to mysteriously throw out a philosophical term here: Bad Faith. I'll leave that one to you to look up if interested. :-)


	7. Face the Big Issues

**Author's Note: **This chapter took longer than I wanted to write because I was unsure how explicit to be about what was going through Casey's head. Believe it or not, this is more explicit than I originally intended, but I wanted to make sure that everyone got what was going on. If it is still unclear what Casey realized, just let me know. :-) In any case, read & review.

* * *

**Chapter 7: Face the Big Issues**

"So can we talk about it now?" he said, once they were on the plane with their seatbelts buckled.

"You don't waste any time, do you?" she said nervously.

"Casey, I've been waiting to talk about this for more than 2 weeks," he said.

"I know," she said, thinking back on what happened.

* * *

"_Yeah, well, at least I don't spend every waking minute with my sister and then run off to fool around with random strangers the second I begin to feel horny!"_

_Then it was like everything was moving in slow motion. Emily looked . . . shocked. Derek closed his eyes slowly, put his hand over half his face, and got this expression as if the shit had finally hit the fan. And for Casey, the pieces finally snapped into place and she realized the implications of what she had just said. _

_And suddenly Emily started to laugh. But it wasn't the normal Emily laugh that Casey knew so well. It was higher, fuller, and bordering on the edge of crying._

"_Em," Derek said, looking extremely distressed. "Em, I'm really sorry."_

"_Emily, it's not what is sounds like!" Casey lied, finally realizing that it completely was. _

_But Emily just kept laughing. _

"_Stepsister," she finally gasped, wiping tears from her eyes and starting to laugh again. "You're not his sister; you're his stepsister."_

"_Em, please," Derek pleaded, begging for both her silence and her forgiveness._

"_Emily, I . . ." Casey began, but was unable find the words to finish. _

"_Casey," she said, finally calming down,"it's okay. We'll be okay. Like I said, I have a boyfriend. It's just a bit of a shock."_

"_But really," Casey lied again, "it's not like that."_

"_I think I should probably go now," said Emily, trying to hold her voice steady. "But mall tomorrow, Case?"_

"_Yeah," said Casey, gratefully. "Sure."_

"_Oh, and Derek," Emily said, turning around to face him. "Do you remember that time we kissed in the closet and you said something about not knowing why you had never really noticed me before?"_

"_Yeah," said Derek, that pained expression still plastered over his face._

"_Well, maybe it was because I was always standing next to __**her**__," said Emily, turning and leaving the room before he could respond. _

_And suddenly they were alone. And Derek was staring at her almost desperately. _

"_Casey," he said, "we need to talk."_

"_Can't we just pretend like this whole conversation never happened?" she laughed nervously._

"_Casey, I don't want to pretend anymore!" he said. "And I know that what's going on here isn't just me."_

_Suddenly he was standing dangerously close to her and his hand was on her cheek. She could feel the warmth of his body and the intensity of his gaze. _

"_Derek," she said, turning away from him and trying to keep her cool, "this really isn't the time."_

"_Then when is the time," he said, anger seeping into his voice._

"_When we're not surrounded by our family!" she said desperately. "When we can talk about this without their input and without the roof falling in."_

_What she was saying seemed to be getting through to him. His features cooled and he looked like he was trying to regain his composure. _

"_Please, Derek," she said, "let's wait to talk about this until we're on our way back to school."_

"_Okay," he agreed, closing his eyes. "Until then we pretend like this never happened_

_

* * *

_And they had pretended. And after the first week of it, she almost believed it. Almost. But the feelings and the thoughts didn't go away and she realized what she had to do.

"So," Derek said, looking down at his hands. "It's pretty much out there. At least on my end."

"Yeah," she said, looking down.

Now that she saw it, it seemed so obvious. The reason that he went out with random girls was that, at the end of the evening, she didn't invite him in.

"So where we go from here is completely up to you," he said. "It's your choice and I'll go with whatever you decide."

"Please, Derek," she laughed, "save that line for the girls at school."

"It's not a line, Case," he said. "Especially not with you."

"So then if I told you that I just wanted to be friends, you honestly think that you could go on like we have been for the next four years without anything happening?"

"Yeah," he said, meeting her eyes, "if that's really what you want, then I could do it."

"Well, I don't know that I could," she laughed bitterly, looking away.

"And why is that a problem!" he said, taking her hand in his.

"Why is that a problem?! Why is that problem, Derek?!" she said. "It's a problem because our parents are married. It's a problem because you're my stepbrother and it's a problem because soon there will be someone in this world who considers us both to be their sibling."

"News flash, Case, there already is! Her name is Marti!"

"And that's supposed to convince me that this is okay! Derek, that makes me feel even worse!"

"Well, what are we supposed to do then?!" he asked.

"I think we should stay away from each other!" she said.

To her surprise he didn't say anything. He looked completely shocked.

"It's a big campus," she sighed, "and I don' think that we should see each other from now on."


	8. Speak Your Mind

**Author's Note:** I've been trying to let my characters speak for themselves rather than just explaining what is going on but couldn't do this as much in this chapter since it is sort of about not talking. Hope you like it though. Read & review.

* * *

**Chapter 8: Speak Your Mind**

They were two weeks into their second semester and Mara Thomas was seriously worried. There was something decidedly wrong with her roommate but Casey refused to talk about it.

She had refused to go to dinner with Mara again that night and Mara wasn't buying her newly acquired fondness of ramen noodles. And maybe it was all the monosodium glutamate in her diet, but Casey had been particularly forgetful lately. She was distracted, irritable, and uncharacteristically disorganized. To top it all off, she was currently watching "Clueless" for the third time this week and downing a tub of Ben & Jerry's.

Mara was thinking about it again as she went to go brush her teeth. Jane Collins was already standing in front of the bathroom mirror applying cold cream, while her roommate, Tiffany, waited for her.

"It's nice that you guys are friends and all," said Tiffany, "but it's kind of weird that he's suddenly hanging out with us so much."

"I'm telling you, Tiff," said Jane. "there's something seriously wrong with him. I'm trying to be supportive, but whenever I try to talk to him about it, Derek just blows me off."

And then it hit Mara like a ton of bricks. She hadn't seen Derek all term.

She rushed bolted out of the bathroom and rushed back into their room.

"Casey," she asked abruptly, "where the hell is your step-boyfriend?!"

And Casey's tub of chunky-monkey fell to the ground as she choked on the spoonful she was eating.

* * *

"So he didn't even put up a fight about it," Casey said miserably, as they sat on her bed eating ice-cream. "He just calmly agreed not to see each other anymore."

"But Casey isn't that what you wanted?" asked Mara. "After all, you were the one who suggested it."

"I guess," said Casey. "I think I just hoped the whole issue would disappear if we didn't see each other anymore. That way I wouldn't have to decide what I felt and what I wanted."

"Casey, you can't avoid your feelings by avoiding him," Mara pointed out.

"I know," Casey said covering her face with her hand.

"Hey, Mara?" Casey asked after several seconds of silence. "Do you think that he's been sleeping with Jane?"

"No," said Mara, incredulously. "It sounded like he was probably still upset about the fact that he hasn't been sleeping with you."

"He hasn't even said a word to me since we've been back."

"Again," said Mara, "isn't that what you asked for?"

"Yeah, but not like this!" said Casey. "He barely acknowledged my presence when I practically knocked the tray out of his hands in the dining hall a few days ago."

"You almost knocked the tray out of his hands?"

"Yeah, well it was an accident," she said. "I was going to get some jello-o and I just bumped into him. I . . . I tried to say that I was sorry, but he just sort of brushed passed it, nodded his head at me, and left."

"Sound like a pretty normal response to me, Casey."

"Yeah," said Casey, becoming tearful, "but I felt like I couldn't breath . . . I mean, my heart was just pounding out of my chest and I didn't even remember to get the jell-o."

"Then, this?" asked Mara, holding up a cup of ramen noodles. "Is this about that?"

Casey shrugged and looked away.

"You can't run away from him forever, Casey."

"Why did he have to be my step-brother?"

* * *

She was totally over the low-carb diet. In fact, she and carbs had lately become the best of friends. But she had run out of ramen that night and needed to mix up her eating habits anyway. Sadly, that meant going for a twix bar from the vending machine.

She was just coming back getting one when she saw him. Derek. Talking to that blond bimbo from down the hall. Jane caught her eye as Casey stood there staring at them. Panicked at the idea of Derek seeing her, she ducked into the first open room that she could find . . .

Unfortunately, it turned out to be the men's room and before she knew it he was walking in as well.

"Casey," he said, nodding, as if it were perfectly normal to see her there and he wasn't at all surprised.

And as Derek casually walked into a stall, Casey bolted from the room.

Once safely back in her own room, she allowed herself to slump against the wall. Panting, she thought about the sound of his voice. It wasn't just that it was casual and unsurprised. It was more that that. Derek had sounded resigned. He really had just given up on her.

What was she doing? This wasn't the way that she wanted it to be.

She almost picked up the phone and called him, but she felt like she couldn't at that point. Not after what she had said. Not after the way that he had acknowledged her in the bathroom.

So she threw herself into her studies again. She had been sleeping less and less and working more and more. She had just started getting somewhere with that nights work when, to her surprise, her door opened.

And no one had knocked.

"Casey," he said. "This is bullshit."


	9. Take Responsibility for Your Life

**Chapter 9: Take Responsibility for Your Life**

"Casey," he said. "This is bullshit."

"Excuse me, Derek?" she said, looking up from her studies and trying to keep her voice from trembling.

"You heard me," he said. "This is bullshit."

"Oh," she said, unsure how to respond.

"Look," he sighed, starting to pace, "I'm trying to respect your feelings here, Case, but I disagree with them. And isn't that what all your feminist talk is really all about?"

"Derek, what are you talking about?" she said, becoming confused. "What does any of this have to do with feminism?"

"Well, isn't the whole purpose to give everyone a say?" he said, continuing to pace across her room. "Respecting your choices and opinions shouldn't mean that I can't have a say in what's going on between us."

"Well maybe you could if you would actually say something comprehensible," she said. It was as if she had been frozen and suddenly all the blood had just rushed back into her body.

"What I'm saying is that I don't think you have a right to just cut me out of your life!" he said, stopping and facing her directly. "If you want we can just be friends, but you can't just go and suggest that we can suddenly become nothing."

And suddenly it was all there on his face. All the conflict that she had felt. All the pain. Everything that she realized that he had been pretending not to feel since the talk they had on the plane. Some how it had become all about her and she had indeed removed his feelings from the equation. She was trying very hard not to cry at the moment and wasn't sure if she was feeling sadness, happiness, or both.

"I should have said that to you three weeks ago," he said, looking at his feet miserably.

"Well, um, why didn't you, Derek?" she almost whispered.

"I don't know," he said. "I guess I thought that just respecting your wishes was the right thing to do."

"But didn't you even thinking of fighting for us?" she asked, hurt creeping into her voice.

"You're upset about that, aren't you?!" he laughed incredulously, the realization of it hitting him.

"Yes," she whispered, honestly.

"You can't honestly be angry that I tried to respect your wishes!" he said, becoming angry himself. "Case, that isn't fair! Did you expect me to just force a relationship on you or something?!"

"Of course not!" she said, tearfully. "But you could have at least said something more about it! You just accepted the whole not seeing each other idea and walked away!"

"Casey my feelings were completely out there! I hope that you'll consider them, but I'm not going to make your decisions for you! I'm not going to take all the responsibility for this and I shouldn't have to."

"Yeah," she nodded looking down at her feet. "I know."

"So, I'm asking you," he said, more calmly, "if you don't think you want to be with me, can't we at least try to be friends?"

"Derek," she said, walking toward him, her voice trembling, ". . . I'm not sure that I don't want to be with you."

"Case," he said gently, touching her cheek, "You don't have to make up your mind right now. We can take this slow and figure it togeth—"

And suddenly her lips crashed into his and her arms were around him. Her body was pressed up against his and she was running her fingers through his hair in an almost desperate manner. As if she thought he was going to disappear from her life again at any moment.

"Or not," he smirked when they came up for air.

There were tears in her eyes but she was smiling at him. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "I just missed you."

"I missed you too, Head Case," he laughed, kissing her again softly and tenderly running his fingers through her hair.

"I'm still not sure about any of this," she said.

"That's okay," he smiled. "We have time."

* * *

**Author's Note:** I think that this might be the end. The first several chapters involved Derek and Casey talking about a number of issues that I think are relevant to their story and to what Casey is doing. As liberated as she claims to be, I think that we see a lot of her refusing to acknowledge and take responsibility for what she feels. In the last few chapters I've tried to illustrate how some of the issues that Derek & Casey have discussed play out. Although the story I'm telling here could continue, I think it might adulterate the concept if I continued in the same vein. But enough of this author's note from hell. Exercise your own agency by choosing to click your review button. ;-)


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